30 Day Challenge - Day 19

Yes. It's been a few days. More than I wanted to give, but I made an executive decision. My son and I had both come down with a cold and we had a little mini vacation planned. Once we got to our destination I had plans to take all kinds of photos to share and discuss, but I just had this feeling inside me that said to put my phone down, put my work away and just enjoy my guys. It grated on me in every kind of way because I really wanted to keep to this commitment, but the laughter and joy and fun we had together was worth every day I missed not being on social media and blogging about life. My health and my family will always trump anything else. Because without them, nothing else matters.

Action #1 - Be Thankful

I have to say that today I am most thankful for my momma. She is the best kind of mom. She is always there for me. Back in October I hurt my knee and it hurt to walk on it. I called her up in the middle of the week.  With no hesitation she packed her bags and came up to stay with us for a few days to help me out with my little guy, the animals and the house. When we went on vacation this last weekend, she packed her bags again and came up to stay with our animals and watch our house. 

I'm not always grateful for my mom, but I should be. She is one of the few people that encouraged and made it possible for me to get out of my box. She sent me to Florida to visit friends when I was young and also gave me a trip to visit friends in New Orleans when I graduated from high school. When I moved to Saint Louis to attend school she would send me care packages and always told me how proud she was of me.

She's a good mom. I'm gonna keep her.

Action #2 - Devotions, Journaling & Prayer

Before I launch in to what I loved about today's devotional time, I want to share a story. I have been wrestling with taking something off of my plate. I love everything that I do, but right now I feel the pressure of trying to maintain balance. I don't want anything I do to become a "job" or something I "have to do". BUT, on the flip side I also fear failure. I hate saying I can't or couldn't do something. I hate the appearance that I am quitting.

I have had so many people (yes! friends and family members) take delight in calling me a failure, telling me I lack follow through, I can't finish anything. These same people have told me I need to just give up and get a real job or just "settle being a mom". What does that last one even mean? My brain doesn't grasp why being a stay at home mom means that the only thing I can do is cook, clean and take care of my family all day. 

So I fear, that if I clear this item off my plate I will be a failure and people I love will not hesitate to tell me when they are feeling up to it. Can you relate to this?

I messaged a few people last night as I was pondering over this. One of them was my brother, one was a trusted friend and the other was my husband. I talked about my fears. I talked about how I was afraid and that I didn't want to regret my decision.

Friends! I don't know how this happened, but let's talk about God's timing. I could have never of planned this out if I tried with today's devotionals. Let me share with you.

Cheryl Hale in Girl Be Brave talked about potential and what we were created to do. She discussed what we need to do in order to reach that full potential. Here are some of my takeaways:

• Every person is born with the potential to excel and propel humanity in a positive direction. The key is learning to let go of the negativity of your past and dedicate yourself to your future. (You see that second sentence? This is how I started my devotional time. God said, "wake up girl... I've got something for you")
• You were created to manifest the extraordinary. (two of my favorite words are in this sentence. "manifest" and "extraordinary")

It doesn't stop there. Then I opened up Embraced by Lysa TerKeurst. Lysa was talking about paralyzing fear and gave the perfect illustration (because I can totally relate) to an embarrassing time when she tried to do the monkey bars, but was afraid. Then when all the kids got tired of waiting they went around her. To make it worse, a teacher saw her dilemma and came over to "help" her by lifting her down.

Isn't this so true. We want to try something new. We feel like God has given us something and we are so excited to try so we step one foot out, but then we stop paralyzed with fear. We fail. Someone says something they think is helpful, but it really isn't. Then we sit with our hands folded. Too embarrassed to try again. Too afraid. Devastated by the words of someone who thinks they are helpful. Defeated by our own minds.

Lysa had some amazing takeaways:

• Being told that failure must be avoided at all costs will keep you from trying again. (paraphrased)
• Fear strangles the momentum that propelled us to step out and try something new in the first place. (paraphrased)
• Fear makes the gap between where I am and trusting God seem an impossible chasm.

God really does answer prayers. When I was reading my devotional last night I wrote out a prayer. Part of it was "help me be ok with letting this go". It is the answer I need. Am I 100% fine with this decision. Not yet, but I'm going to trust and have faith that God has something bigger in store for me.

Action #3 - Exercise

I'll make this short and sweet friends. I haven't done a workout in a few days. Being sick has left me exhausted and tired and coughing. Just walking up and down the steps leaves me in a coughing fit, so I'm working on a healthy me before I get back to working on a healthier me. 

Be blessed!

​Note: Anything I have italicized is not my own words, but are either paraphrased or directly from a book. I try to make it clear from which book the writing is from, but if you are unsure, please ask. Also, if you click on any links that lead you to Amazon from this page and you then purchase the product that you clicked on I may or may not earn money from your purchase.