Welcome to my third podcast episode. The first six episodes I created a series about “Embracing Grace”. Last week I shared with you about times when I wasn’t able to keep my son from being hurt. The first week, I shared with you about times when I couldn’t keep my son from being hurt. Last week, I talked to you about what happens when you explode. This week I want to talk just for a few minutes about those times when you, without trying to, sound like your parents. I hope that today you walk away from this podcast feeling encouraged, a little less lonely and filled with a little more grace for yourself. Read along or click the link (photo) below and listen in. I hope that you walk away feeling encouraged and a little less lonely and scared. I hope that you hear that you should give yourself some grace.

Welcome to my second podcast episode. The first six episodes I have created a series about “Embracing Grace”. Last week I shared with you about times when I wasn’t able to keep my son from being hurt. This week I want to continue the series of embracing grace and talk to you about what happens when you explode. I hope that today you walk away from this podcast feeling encouraged, a little less lonely and filled with a little more grace for yourself. Read along or click the link (photo) below and listen in. I hope that you walk away feeling encouraged and a little less lonely and scared. I hope that you hear that you should give yourself some grace.

There has been a thought that has been lingering in my mind for a few months now. The thought grew and it has morphed in to a whole question that if I had a chance I would ask the person that the thought is about. 

A few months ago I told the story of Joseph to the kids during our church's Harvest Festival. Reading the whole story and studying it again made these questions stand out in my head and I really want to know "Did you know?"

​Do you ever reflect back on your life and look at all the things that you walked through to get you where you are? How you really felt like there was a purpose or plan that God had given you, but then your world just crumbled. Then it would seem like things were going well again and it crumbled again. And repeat.

I wonder if Joseph knew that when he dreamed his family would bow down to him one day that his brothers would seeth with anger? Did he know that his brothers would plan to kill him? I wonder if he knew that he would be sold in to slavery? Did he know that someone would lie about him? Did he know that he would be thrown in to prison? Did he know that someone would promise to remember to help him, but then forgot about him? Did he know that life would be very, very cruel to him when he had that dream?

I wonder, because Joseph remained faithful to God.

When he was in the pit, he was faithful.

When he served in Potipher's house, he was faithful.  Not just to God, but to Potipher as well.

When he was thrown in to prison, he was faithful. 

Joseph saw many downs. He saw some hopeful things and occasionally things would look up, but then it would crash down again. As I mentioned before, he wasn't just faithful to God. When Potipher bought him he was faithful and a good steward and rose to a place of taking care of Potipher's household. When Joseph was thrown in to prison, he was faithful and a good steward and was given the honor of caring for the other prisoners.

I wonder if Joseph knew that his dream really was from God? Did he know that the dream wasn't for him, but that it was about God using him to save a nation? Did he know that all these things were happening to him in the moment to take him where he needed to be?

I want to ask Joseph if he knew? If he did, is that what made it easier to remain faithful? A good stewart? If he didn't, did he sometimes doubt God? Did he question  "why me"?

I know I have asked this question. I have felt a dream in my heart from God for a long time, but it seems like I see things turning positive and then everything crashes down again. I feel like I question to often. What is happening? What is going on? Where is that trust that Joseph had? That peace? 

Maybe you have been or are there too.

One day (or maybe you are like me and not quite at the one day yet) you look at where you are and know that God put you there to orchestrate something big. Maybe you don't save a nation, but maybe God uses you to reach one person. That one person that only you could reach because you have a story to tell.

You know when you have those well-intentioned plans to be on top of everything and then those plans fall through because you are terrible at following through and being organized, but you really want to work on that and you try very hard, but then it falls through anyway.
Ugh, this is me this week. I had a beautiful plan all written out. Graphics made and ready to go. Time carved out to get things done and well... life.
So here I am writing to you on the 5th of January to tell you about my word for the year of 2023. Lol... it's a good thing I hope that you appreciate authenticity as much as I do because that is all you are going to get from me this year. Is real thoughts about real life. Let's talk about 2023.

The puppy (by puppy I mean the 70+ lb almost one year old golden retriever we have) woke me up at 5:30am this morning. Shortly after, Joe woke up and wanted to get up. I got him back to sleep and got Cooper outside. I sat down and did a little bit of the work I do as a virtual assistant and also cleaned some things up on my blog. I decided I would finally take a few minutes and map out some things I want to do for my blog and business in the first quarter of 2023. I know... we are two days away right. I feel like I'm winning because it is two days before and not two days after lol. I had a thought that before I started I wanted to write down the things that I am thankful for this year. There is no better way to start planning for something new then reflecting on the goodness of God before jumping in. It sets the mood for a positive brainstorming session. As I wrote my letter of thankfulness to God tears began to flow and emotions ran rampant. I have been so completely and utterly blessed. I want to share some of that letter to God with you.

It has been a very long time since I have felt the urge to write something passionately. I have had my little rants that I share because I see things and honestly feel like sharing, but last night I was a part of something that has left my very being filled with hope and wonder and it was all nothing but God. Honestly, I'm not sure how it impacts my future, but I will tell you that it has changed my perspective.

Being a parent is not an easy task. Everywhere you turn you have someone offering their opinion of how you should or should not be parenting. Increasingly in our present world there are two extreme sides to everything. Once one side takes a stance on a particular viewpoint on something, the other side takes the polarized opposite view of that standpoint. There is no balance. Just constant conflict. Why conflict you may ask? Because conflict gets you seen in today's world.

The most recent conflict that has come across my screens is the "I am/am not enough" battle. When parents constantly question themselves and everything they do for their children, we have an added stress of the secular world shouting out "you are more than enough... you don't need anyone else" and the christian world shouting out "you are not enough... you'll never be enough". It's confusing and frustrating and more than just a little bit deflating. You sit and you question yourself. Who is right? Who is wrong? Who should you believe? My answer... 

When I was pregnant with my son I oftentimes had time to sit and reflect on the faithfulness of God. I had slowed down. I would sit and wait to feel him move. I would stop and rest. I would be still and revel in the moment of where God placed me.

I wrote the following words on this day six years ago during one of those moments of resting and reflecting:

I was sitting here waiting for baby Joseph to move for the morning. When he finally did I thanked him. Then I thanked God for giving him to me.

Eight years we have waited for this. Countless tests, procedures, a miscarriage, a surgery and month after month of disappointment.